• Lucia Joyce

Your Loss

If you don't like how the fight for equal rights looks, if you're still hiding behind your social media profiles, making fun of minority groups and talking sh*t, if you think telling your mediocre joke about police brutality is more important than the well being and safety of your fellow human beings...

Honestly, that's your loss.

You're the stuck one. Stuck in some old beliefs. Stuck in old traumas and assumptions. Stuck in a hurt and resentful place where joy is so much harder to come by. You're stuck in this idea of separateness, otherness. But that's your loss. Those who are open to talking to/being around people who aren't like them are the ones who are growing, finding more joy, feeling accepted, feeling limitless, feeling charged by a community that helps more than it divides. When you're at home typing up hateful comments to feel 'superior' to people you don't know the first thing about, you're digging further into your own misery, and loneliness, and struggle to feel loved. There is nothing out there for you but a vicious cycle of trying to 'win' by hurting someone else, which only leads to more frustration and emptiness.

There's an untapped depth of love and spirit and things to celebrate in the worlds you're afraid of: be it First Nations, black people, or LBGTQIA+. Refusing to allow these worlds to exist without harassment, murder, and systemic oppression... what is the benefit to you? You're got it all figured out? You think your way is best? Your whole reality was built and influenced by all types of people. The words you speak, the songs you listen to, the roads you take to work, the gadgets you own, the movies and bands you worship... they are invented and curated by people from all over, with a host of different perspectives. Unless you are a descendant of the Natives of North America, you come from immigrants. This idea of 'otherness' comes from fear... the same fear you felt as a child on the first day of school. It might not feel like it, but there is a whole host of reactions available to you beyond fear and anger-- it's up to you to reach for them.

I wish I could give you the hug you desperately need. I wish I could give you the effervescent joy of collaborating with, laughing with, and supporting the people around you... but I can't do that for you. Push past that fear and grow. It's never too late. It's never what you expected while you were lodged in fear. Your life could be happier, and more free, and so much more delicious if you would choose to listen and open up rather than yell yourself hoarse and close off. I wish I could show you how much easier it can be to believe in people and believe in love, to believe in your best self, to believe in true health, to believe in true community... but I can't show you anything while your eyes are squeezed shut in defiance.

Unfortunately, that's your loss, not mine. You're missing out. I'm cultivating better long term relationships, I'm taking in culture and art outside of my wheelhouse, I'm learning so much more about the world and getting a natural boost from doing what I can to help people. I've relinquished the idea of 'one right way', to my benefit. My friends like me for who I am in my core essence, not where I come from or what I look like. Maybe you could have that one day too... but I will warn that once you experience it, it's a lot harder to go back to being presumptuous and hateful and compliant with the ol' status quo.

Take a deep breath with me. Inhale. Really let it all go. Exhale.

We're making changes that are better for all. Changes that, at worst, won't even affect you, and at best, will lighten your load. Are you helping those changes right now with your online dialogue or are you hurting them? I'll give you a hint: if it feels like a joyless cycle of complaining and making sh*t worse, you're probably not helping much of anything. If it feels like hope at crucial intervals, you're probably on a better track.

Please do something truly kind for a fellow human after you read this. You have thousands of options. Just pick one. Pick another one after that for the following day. Keep taking those deep breaths. It's worth it. You can do this. I believe in you.

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