You Are Worthy
You are worthy of love, of joy, and of good health. You are worthy of support, of acceptance, and of kindness. Nothing you've ever done or been can change that. Your worthiness as a being of this earth is innate, whether or not you're conscious of such.
Maybe you've heard all of the above before. Maybe it feels a little hokey at this point. A little too flower-childish. Maybe you like being reminded but you don't necessarily practice telling yourself. Maybe you see and feel this message everywhere and relish it. Wherever you're at on your journey to understanding innate worthiness, here are a few more facets to the story you might not think about as much.
If your worthiness is innate, then so is everyone else's. Every single other being deserves love, support, joy, and health. Just as they are.
We are all free to pursue and cultivate and align with joy and love and satisfying things, our individual way, on our time and uniquely as ourselves.
We are also free to block or move away from our own worthiness, and we're free to block or move away from the worthiness of others. We can feel unworthy and take that out on people around us, cultivate toxic relationships based on codependency patterns, or withdraw from the people who care most. We can boycott our own worthiness to the point of violence, addiction, depression, even suicide. We can try on guilt, shame, and worry instead. We can creatively numb. We can suffer.
I don't think it's a lottery type situation. I think you can choose to acknowledge your own worthiness, in your very next moment, or generally over the long term. I think we have no control over what comes your way, but when we prepare ourselves with an understanding of worthiness, we are more equipped and can relinquish that idea of control. We can worry less about the future, and be more present in the joy that's waiting for us. We can be more present in our complex fears, sadnesses, and angers too. This is how we really dig into a cycle of empathy and trust: by being present and accepting the moment, knowing that we're all on a unique journey back to worthiness.
I also think that the most troubling deniers of worthiness out there (the government hacks and corporate narcissists and power-consumed elitists) are definitely not attuned to worthiness of any kind. They're running on an old program: a futile race to dominate other beings, a poor substitute for love and authentic joy, but they're too embarrassed, ashamed even, to stop running the program. They have to stand by their old convictions or they'll look weak! But... they've been looking pretty frail for a while now, and it seems they have less and less to stand on in the face of real love and worthiness. More and more we let shock and hate fall by the wayside and channel our best selves into a movement for worthiness of all beings; an end to unnecessary violence, hateful agendas, and exploitation. More and more we realize that there's so much out of our control, but dammit, we deserve happiness. We might even be called to fight for the underserved worthy among us.
So to recap: you deserve to be happy and you have every right to pursue that happiness as long as you aren't harming anyone else. But you probably will do harm, and you probably will be harmed. Because this is an imperfect journey, and because we really start digging deeper into layers of love and empathy when we suffer traumas and heal them with community, trust, and spirit.
The best way to keep going about things (that I've found so far) is to first always do whatever you need, in order to acknowledge your innate worthiness (gratitude and healthy self talk are both excellent options, but sometimes just saying 'screw it' and passing out at 4pm will have to do). Once you have a decent rhythm with this, then it's a great idea to be a light for someone who is struggling, to help as many people as you can in whatever mode is best for you (quietly or in sweeping gestures, for example). You will need healthy boundaries and breaks. You will need even more self care. You will need other light bringers. You will need to give and receive forgiveness, and letting go of judgment (of you and everyone) as much as possible will be very helpful. You will need a lot of art in every phase of this process: ideally a balance of making it and taking it in. You will likely need to come back to your simplest joys, and reach for new ones. You will need constant inspiration. Start a folder of inspirational quotes now if you can. It will make it easier down the line.
Another way of looking at this:
With all of the above in mind, how would you categorize the below scenarios... are they in touch with innate worthiness, or not?
1. Lighting a candle and meditating once a day.
2. Forgiving yourself for your half finished to do list and for eating all the chocolate.
3. Protesting injustice by throwing back hate spew and violence.
4. Protesting peacefully. Helping where you are most helpful.
5. Berating and bullying anyone online for anything.
6. Setting healthier boundaries with people who sap your energy.
7. Letting go of perfectionism and letting yourself get messy.
8. Sh*tting on someone else's process or failures.
9. Propagating any kind of arbitrary systemic bias: racism, homophobia, sexism, etc.
10. Seeing everyone around you and in the media as individuals, not 'generic types', statistics, gossip fodder, or lost causes. Seeing them how you would prefer to be seen.
11. Doing something to take care of your body.
12. Apologizing and listening and improving.
13. Acknowledging when you need help.
14. Seeing the world as a dog-eat-dog hierarchy and stepping over anyone and anything in the way of your societal success.
15. Practicing forgiveness and non-judgment. You don't know what others go through.
Think of some of your recent actions or actions you've witnessed of others. Were these actions aligned with this concept of worthiness or not? No need to judge the answer. :)