too late vs. just right
I have wasted an ironic amount of time telling myself I'm too late...
...too old to learn new skills (constantly proven untrue).
...too behind to become successful (makes no sense but I've thought it countless times).
...too late to the game to even start (that's called sabotage, friends).
-->(Insert derpy puppy meme to express my self-aware stupidity.)
Once in a while, though, I can step outside of my stress-fueled ego-trip and notice so much more than what I haven't started or haven't accomplished. And when it happens, there's a 'just right' kind of quality to the world.
That's when I realize I'm not too late, I'm pretty often just right:
This last half decade of my life was the perfect time to try my first backflip, get better at makeup and french braids, nerd out on the craft of acting, and discover a passion for sketch drawing.
November '19 has been the perfect month to do some Shakespeare and join a theatre company that empowers women's stories.
Last week held the perfect moment to sing like I've never sung before in a voice lesson with a new coach, break through a concrete wall of self-doubt, and immediately bust into tears at my self revelation. I've been training as a singer for 10 years.
Today is the perfect day to make quick pickles, call my dad, sing some casual throwbacks with Bae, and drink a little too much coffee.
Right now is just the right time to dust off the blog and say hello to the world. It's an opportunity to say: I'm here, I'm doing OK, and I'm growing in ways I didn't anticipate. I'm still emotional, unsure, and generally winging it, but I'm starting to enjoy the process.
I'm not too late for anything, really. 'Too Late' is just another way of saying 'Not Enough'. Just another phrase of resistance against my desire to get good at shit, make art, and steadily improve my life in incremental ways. It's not that I'm too late. I'm just... scared.
It's annoying at first to admit you're scared of almost everything, but it's also freeing.
I've learned that being afraid isn't the same as being incapable. You can do pretty much anything with fear in tow.
So...if you're scared to start some project or lesson or task, because you feel it's too late to even start, start anyway. It's probably just the right time.