Today is leftover audition-cake-face. Perfectly placed lashes and eyeliner straight from the tutorial. It's a face I'm, surprisingly, not ready to take off, even though the audition ended 8 hours ago and I have nothing ahead of me but pizza and a strain of cannabis called 'Lamb's Bread'.
Today is a crossed path with my old friend: Insecurity-About-Singing. I hadn't heard from him in a while but he peeked his head in to say his usual three-word slogan: "Not good enough." What a dick. And why would Andrew Lloyd Webber make those notes so high after a dance break? He's not off the hook either.
Today is an experimental 'workshift' with a new mobile grocery app. A trek through the San Fernando Valley lugging other people's frozen pizzas and cases of corn masa. I met an Australian shepherd named Shay and saw some winding neighborhoods I didn't know existed. It definitely wasn't my favorite way to earn $50, although the playlist was cute.
Today is my 26th blog post... in a chair by the window under shifting lavender LED's.
Today is a giant salad on the balcony before the rain came. A sprinting neighborhood cat. A chapter of Jenna Fischer's book about career droughts that made me feel a lot better about myself. We're bookable even when we're not booking.
Today is a dance combo I needed: outstretched arms and syncopated swirls. Fiery eyes and legs daring to travel hard on a slippery floor. My face telling a story that my body confirms. Today I admit that Patti LuPone's Evita is f**king beautiful.
Today holds a lot of kind words and encouragement from my live-in Love. Sensing my in-between vibes, he makes his signature scratch pizza and opens a box of chocolate truffles. We have been revving up to hug and kiss each other all day. This just happens sometimes. We jog in place before we collide. Sometimes we get too excited and someone gets 'chinned' in the eye. But we keep doing it anyway. It's like a rugby scrimmage, with kisses.
Today I put off writing until late on the Pacific coast because I don't have a strong premise to summon. I have some wild theories about the dance industry but they simply will not be unpacked tonight after a long day in false eyelashes.
Instead, I accept that today is a mish-mosh of human thoughts, an absorption of small things. A half rainy-day full of ups and downs and slow progress. Today is...what it is. And I plan on milking the comfort of that over several more pizza slices and a goofy bedroom dance break. I'm thankful. :)