Put Joy On Your Daily To Do List
My lesson for this week and much of last week seems to be making self care a priority, even though I have taken on more projects than I have time for.
The To Do List cannot trump the Doer.
I'm typing this way past my daily blog deadline, with my feet in the dewey grass of the backyard and my heart in the sun. I am absorbing a new kind of relationship with sleep, where I sometimes wake up at 430 or 5, and sometimes stay up until 430 or 5 finishing tasks. This is probably not super sustainable. I am probably going to have to pick one of those to favor. But right now, I'm in this kind of sleep limbo--pushing myself to see what I can accomplish on different levels of sleep, and when good food, breath work, and time in the sun stay consistent, sleep bends to my will here and there.
Last night, that was not the case. Just one day prior I had stayed up all night typing up my blog on the doctor who stitched up my leg. Fell asleep near 530. Woke up naturally at 845 and had a solidly productive day with a lot of singing, and gardening, and just being sweet around Shane. We found our new roommate, a sun kissed LA local who gardens professionally and loves to cook. She came over to scope the space and brought with her a level of innate kindness and patience that so refreshed me, it felt like an honor just to sit and get to know her a little. She answered all my compost questions and dug through her car to hand me a bush bean plant, poles for my own crawling bean vines, and a white cotton mesh to place over the raised bed when the heat wave hits this weekend. Her name is Vic. :)
My computer was occupied for an hour while it rendered and uploaded a self tape, so by the time I sat down to write a blog, 1030pm had rolled around, and my eyelids had basically made their decision. I tried to fight it. I wrote two very boring paragraphs and just called it quits around 1130. Deep sleep swallowed me up. I woke up at 6 to find Shane passed out in the living room: his day filled with athletic challenges, garage tasks (he's been painting the ceiling), editing, and goofy kitchen sass. Like me, he was swallowed up by sleep before he intended to be, and I found him stretched on our giant bean bag poof next to an empty bag of banana chips.
He crawled into our bed half asleep. I slept next to him until 830 and came out into the sun to write. I have surrendered to the fact that I cannot do everything, and I have resolved to enjoy the things I can. I have become much more efficient at admitting and accepting my work each day, as is. Perhaps most crucially, each day I prioritize the things I feel the most ready for and the things that bring me joy.
I made a TikTok to commemorate just how grateful I was for an excuse to rest during the day on Monday. My leg was sore and I was limping around like a pirate, trying not to put strain on my stitches. I stretched over the entire bed in a kind of sideways T-shape, with my patched leg acting as the anchor. That nap obviously f**ked up my sleep later on but it was too heavenly to pass up. Ditto my long shower yesterday and my delayed blog today.
I am starting to understand that being busy doesn't have to be as stressful as we make it. We have to demand time for ourselves and deadlines that actually work in our favor. We have to value our own work and our own process to teach our clients and employers how to do the same. Because what will all that work be for if we were stressed and neglecting our own happiness the whole time?
Find your reasons and ways to relax, to smile, to try an easier approach to your routine--nothing is set in stone. Everything is evolving and you get to decide what you want your day to look like. If you find yourself autonomically saying back to me that you 'have no choice' and your day just 'is what it is so deal with it', I challenge you to explore that. Really? No other choices could be made to infuse your day with the joy of being alive and the satisfaction of taking care of yourself? Why? And what is the benefit?
Be here, and be happy, now.