What can you look for to feel better about, right now?
Look around the room and get back to me. It could be the absolute smallest thing...
"I finally put up the new curtains," "the plants look happy," "I have a pulse and a place to sit and read this blog."
There's a kind of power in the things we choose to look for.
We can always find something to complain about, something to worry about, something to be scared of. Those types of things aren't going anywhere. They're easy to find and lock onto.
But we can also always find something to quietly thank.
It might not be our first intuition--and that's not really our fault. We're taught to look for sh*tty things by our societal upbringings, our teachers, our parents, our news media, and the cool kids in our neighborhood. We have a ton of other options, some of them wildly helpful, some of them more neutral, and some of them not worth our time. The trick is to figure out what works and what doesn't for you.
I like calling my mom. Sweating through a workout or having a good cry. Completely relaxing in a 'Savasana' type meditation on my bed in the middle of the day. Finding something to put hot sauce on. A long shower. An episode of Better Things. Singing. Releasing the tension in my jaw. Hasan Minhaj. These are my more current 'things that ground me' or that set me up to not be so hard on myself and my day. If they all sound stupid to you, that's perfectly fine. We're different. I'm not going to judge any of your things. I know all too well the battle to be like the cool kids, and freeing myself from that has been an ongoing lesson in my life.
Nobody has it all figured out. We're all just trying our best, and letting go of some of the judgment within that process is going to help you get better at... whatever you want.
Whatever you're doing right now to cope with our rapid-fire world and the barrage of information hitting all our screens all day, honor it. However small or silly you think it might seem. Eat a pickle. Do a handstand. Try a breathing exercise. Sit in your car and stare into space in your own quiet pod. Maybe little judgments come up when I list potential things. Skip the time it takes to judge a thing and just focus on you.
Are you looking for something to regulate the love in your heart, or are you looking for another reason to feel inadequate and put yourself down?
Doing the work just to observe that process will turn up plenty. Be gentle on yourself.