Coffee Date Me
I really miss coffee dates. They were easy to fit in before a class or after a brunch shift, also easy to postpone when everyone inevitably runs late. Small, personal tables for small, personal moments. I could easily fill a week just with coffee date priorities. Wish I could work that rotation full time.
Anyway, what would our coffee date catch up look like?
Me: Omg. Hi. Holy shit. It's so good to see you. Wow. Yes! I'm stoked.
You: How the hell are you?
Me: I mean we're all just out here wondering what the 'F' is going on, right?
You: Pretty much, yup. Well, f*ck. It's good to see you.
Me: You too buddy.
You: So, like, are you actually doing OK?
Me: Yeah. Kinda feeling like I'm living the dream, but also stressed about such a weird list of things, like all the time.
You: What is 2020, though, like can anyone explain to me--
Me: --To us. Explain to us.
You: How almost a million people died and everyone stayed home for a year?
You: What is.. what...
Me: Also, like, everyone really learned a lot about themselves and their closest relationships?
You: OMG right?
Me: Every wedding postponed.
You: Kids are like: WTF IS THIS?
Me: Shane and I had to social distance from each other after a month of barely seeing each other. I had been in New York and he was in Vegas. His test results came back negative 4 days later, but in that 4 days we followed all of Fauci's rules: slept in different rooms and used different bathrooms (luckily our former roommate had moved out the week before). 2nd night, boom. We're both crying. My mom had called to say her and my stepdad were feeling sick after their week in Toronto. Me and Shane just sat on the couch and talked it out all honestly, wishing we could hug. And that moment sort of equipped us for all the epic talks to come in 2020.
You: Everyone's just talking nonstop. I mean, politics?
Me: It's a circus.
You: The house looks awesome.
Me: It's like a miracle-artist-haven. And it's full of spiders.
You: Like, big ones?
Me: Nah. Little babies. But different kinds and they're everywhere.
You: That's a good thing! They'll get rid of other pests for you, keep the floors clean.
Me: That's what I said!
You: Man, I missed you.
Me: I missed you too.
You: So things with Shane are good...
Me: I mean, he's just a hot, bearded wizard with a heart of gold.
You: God, so it's true.
Me: He says the nicest f**king sh*t to me literally every day.
You: What is that even like?
Me: Pretty overwhelming. Coffee? Breakfast burritos?
You: I'm down.
Me: Yeah I'm back on the burrito diet. It's the best diet out there. Mostly burritos.