• Lucia Joyce

Things I Love About Canada

1. For 5-6 months of the year, people's sparkling, wintery yards are dotted with clumsy snow suits--lumpy kiddos wandering around, making forts, and REAL snow cones (sorry, Hawaii, but that is weird clumpy-sugar-ice in a cone, not snow) with cream soda and grape Crush.

2. It is an amazing place to learn how to drive (places that are NOT amazing to learn how to drive: Los Angeles, Mexico, Saudi Arabia, Thailand, Florida). Sorry but, get it together.

3. London Drugs: literally nowhere else in the world will you find reasonably priced prescription drugs, artisan cooking ingredients, an entire wall of chips (*sidebar: Canada has indisputably the best flavors in the world--*minus Lime--that's the only one missing), the newest Mac laptop or desktop, your passport photos, an HDMI cord, a good spiral notebook, a decent plant-based protein powder, and Tragically Hip on vinyl for $15.


4. Someone I know in Edmonton mere days ago had routine (free) blood work done. The lab tech noticed their hemoglobin count was low, and immediately contacted their (free, but excellent) doctor, who proceeded to call them--at 930pm. The doc told them to have someone drive them to the hospital to start treatment. They waited for 5 minutes in the ER, then went immediately to a bed where treatment began. After 4 nights in the hospital and a restful recovery, they walked out of the hospital--not a bill to be paid. If you don't understand why that's such a special thing, you either live in Canada or you're brainwashed.

5. Everyone has a decent amount of wilderness training. Even city kids. There's a lot of untouched, natural space and we love (responsibly) camping out in it. *We can also get pretty ratchet at bush parties.

6. I don't know if I'm just biased and this is controversial but Canadians are FUNNY. The LEAST funny Canadian I know is still...funny. Not always the case in other countries--not naming names (*cough, Russia/*couch Matthew McConaughney). Someone once posited a theory that the cold weather makes Canadians a little more attuned to humor (and maybe indie rock). Canada does host the biggest comedy festival in the world, and its commercials are definitely a level up (I'm looking at you, Skip The Dishes).

7. There are so few places where you truly can't see the stars.

8. A summer day in Canada feels like it lasts forever. The pink sunset around 11pm on a warm August night in Alberta--is arguably worth the hot, mosquitoey days.

9. Everyone recycles. There is literally no reason not to. Everyone in my 1st grade class collected all the pop (yes, pop) can tabs over a few months. It was a unanimously celebrated event. The tabs were bagged and taken to the recycling plant where they explained that they would be melted down and made into the frame for a wheelchair...that would go to a kid who needed it. RUFKN serious? If that doesn't make you want to recycle, you're a monster.

10. Red Green. Kids In The Hall. Goon.

One More Thing

There are so many things I love about my homeland, a lot of which didn't come to light until I started leaving it. There are things I don't miss as well (shit cell phone plans, not having Trader Joe's, temperatures that could kill you in minutes: to name a few), don't get me wrong, but damn, Canada, you're NICEY on so many levels.

Canada Loosh, keepin' it real since '87

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